By Claire Rabin
Marriage as an equivalent partnership is the objective of amny within the western international this day and but equality is frequently restricted through the ways in which energy and gender engage within the courting, resulting in dissatisfaction and eventually the get a divorce of the wedding. In equivalent companions - solid acquaintances Claire Rabin examines the relationship among inequality in marriage and marital misery. Drawing on huge examine and private interviews within the united kingdom, united states and Israel, she stresses the position of friendship in constructing a very equivalent dating. targeting problems with gender, intercourse roles and gear, she offers a brand new medical therapy version for therapists operating with that is a lot wanted in modern weather of switch.
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Additional info for Equal Partners--Good Friends: Empowering Couples Through Therapy
The severity of their presenting problems was different; the first couple at the brink of divorce and the second experiencing the typical struggles of early married life. Gender, power and relationship tension 21 Yet a re-analysis in light of gender and power shows that therapy was derailed on similar grounds. In both cases, issues relating to sex-role identity and the power balance of the relationship were not adequately dealt with, nor were gender differences addressed. A homeostatic reaction led to both couples’ resistance to further change.
This would temporarily right the balance. As Jane becomes more depressed and less able to function, Sam would be forced to take over the bedtime routine, as The egalitarian alternative 45 well as other areas of household chores and childcare. Her bad mood might result in his having to be with her more, and give up weekend golf. Emotional suffering is typical of the unconscious price women pay to gain a sense of fairness, to the detriment of their own mental or physical health. The overall sense of unfairness explains the common research finding that women are less satisfied in marriage than men.
The fact that both valued monetary resources and saw him as the primary provider gave him the power to impose his rules on their mutual married life. However, Jane did not ‘accept’ this situation quietly and without rage, making his victory a rather empty one. Bagarozzi (1990) showed that the development of symptoms in a spouse is a dysfunctional way couples use to achieve a more equitable exchange of contributions and rewards when unfairness prevails. It might be that a continuation of the situation in which Jane’s rules are not included, would lead to Jane’s development of depression, a common symptom in women.